It took me a while to write this post, and this is because I wanted to keep it as short and light and respectful as possible.
When it comes to pain I like to keep a minimum amount of persons involved, better if no one at all, and I terribly come to hate physical contacts. Therefore when pain strikes someone else I tend to leave space and be extremely careful… and like everyone else, I probably say and do the wrong thing anyway… c’est tellement mystérieux, le pays des larmes!* For these reasons my logical reaction in showcasing this artwork would have been to just tell you that I painted a small memorial stone, and leave Lina and her family alone. But it would have been wrong.
When you work on something you always get more sensitive to a certain of topic, and in these months I had the chance to learn and read so much about miscarriage that I decided that I could not leave the word unsaid. We leave in a weird society, where you’re not allowed to get old and pointing out problems doesn’t sound cool. Concerning death, we’re all victims of a collective suppression – but well, in the end death still happens and we simply forgot how to deal with it.
Maybe because of my studies, or my dark side, I always admired populations who deal with their ancestors more than once a year and in a less sad way than we do, who still have regular rituals or celebrations linked to death, like for instance the Mexicans (yes, I’d love to know more about it!). It just happens that we don’t belong to any of this, and things like losing a baby are lived in such a private way that every family that lives it, thinks at first that it happened only to them. Then if you ask, if you search, you’ll discover how shared this pain is.
As I wrote at the beginning, I am the first one living this contraction, my belief and my personal reactions are on two opposite sides. I hope that this few lines will be a reminder for me. And moreover, I really hoped that writing would help someone else to feel less alone. I really hope it does.
A special thanks to Lina’s family for allowing me to write this post.
*‘The land of tears is so mysterious’ (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince).